Dead Rising 2 - A soggy stump or a good meat beater?!

Dead Rising 2
Capcom
Xbox 360 - PS3 - PC











Ah yes, Vegas – the home of games, whores, gamblers and now zombies! Is there anything it doesn’t have? Dead Rising 2 is set in this wonderful dust bowl paradise city of sin and sensuality, it leads on from Dead Rising where the journalist Frank West survived the zombie filled town of ‘Willamette’ to spread the truth about the walking bags of shit. Then we had the prequel demo of Case Zero to slot in nicely between them like a hot dog in a bun, oops pardon! So strap on your chainsaw and load up that shotgun cos its time to paint the town in zombie coloured blood and guts… again.

Any who played Case Zero will know some of what to expect in terms of game play and the basic story line. You are Chuck Green, an ex-motor cross legend who has just escaped certain death with his young daughter Katy, only to be stranded in a Shitville town full of zombies with the military on route to flatten the place, escape is the only way to survive... Jump forward a few years into Dead Rising 2 and we meet Chuck in Fortune City where he is now scraping together money to buy ‘Zombrex’ for his daughter Katy who is always just a day away from becoming a midget meat sack with teeth. Chucks wife has previously been zombified and was the one who bit the kid, thanks Mom! We can only presume that Chucky put a bullet in his wife’s skull soon after that… marital bliss eh. Our Hero earns money for this drug by taking part in the ‘Terror is Reality’ (TIR) TV game show that uses zombies as cannon fodder for a variety of competitions. All is going reasonably well for a few years but then something happens, the zombies escape and infest all of Fortune City.

Chuck is framed as being the one who liberated the living dead and now has to prove his innocence before the military arrive and pop a cap in his ass, this gives us our main timeline story to follow through. Life is never easy though and Chucky also has to find some zombrex for his brat every twenty four hours, plus he has to deal with a range of crazy nut bag psychos and try to rescue snivelling survivors… then of course there’s the small matter of millions of zombies everywhere. It sucks to be Chuck but its great fun for us!

It would be rude not to compare DR2 to DR1, and although there are allot of similarities there are also some fundamental changes. You can still use just about anything as a weapon but now you can combine items to create the ultimate zombie destruction device. Lash some petrol into a squirt gun and you have a portable BBQ pistol, or stick some nails into a gas cylinder to make a nail bomb and one of my favourites - combine a flash light and some gems - you get a light sabre, yeah! Cool or what! There are lots of mix and matches to try out and as you progress you can earn new weapon combo cards by completing tasks or by successfully combining items. This is a great idea and allot of fun, adding freshness to the usual zombie massacre! There are also way more vehicles scattered around, from motorbikes and cars to wheelchairs and dumpsters, all make for great zombie mincers when accessed with the added bonus of modding items for extra carnage, chainsaw on the bike and the electric wheel chair come to mind.

Food can be found all over the place and now is for more than just eating. Make some Jack Daniels petrol bombs or mess with the blender to recreate the smoothies we all know and love or just squirt some ketchup all over a zombie for some Dawn of the Dead style humour. Drink too much booze or eat any dodgy burgers, you will barf and barf and barf… sounds funny eh! Try fighting one of the psychos when ya can’t stop spewing all over the place - that will wipe the smile off your face pretty quick, Grrr! The ‘level up’ books are also scattered around but this time many of the bonuses learned in them require you to keep it in your inventory taking up a precious slot, which kinda sucks dead nuts! Just some of the perks include increased combat efficiency, extra PP points or making survivors better at fighting but none are mandatory and rarely make any massive difference. Usually I don’t bother with them at all, maybe just a quick flick if it’s one of those ‘special’ types… know what I mean?!

Missions in general are… OK and are allocated to you in much the same way as the origonal game, the annoying phone rings, usually when your in the middle of a zombie munching at you crotch. When you do answer the call you get the spec and the time allocated to complete it in. Your watch and mission menue are all easily accessable and well laid out. The directions to the task location come in the form of a pointer arrow, perhaps a GTA style nav system would have been better here but it does the trick I guess. Missions usually involve rescuing a survivor, running an errand or fighting a boss. All this is mostly enjoyable but the ‘wow’ factor seems to be missing and it just feels a lil bit repetitive, which I didn’t mind too much because it is still a lot of fun just to play in this environment.

There are multiple endings depending on what tasks you decide to follow or let pass… and of course the true ending will be revealed if you successfully complete all given story based missions. If you decide you couldn’t be arsed saving people or clearing your name and you are quite content to let Katy turn into a mini zombie, then you can! Continue to commit genocide on the dead or just mess about until the heavies arrive… then you die. There is no overtime mode after you complete the game and this is your best opportunity to get achievements and the like. That said, an overtime mode would have been better and is sorely missed in my opinion. Alternatively, follow all story paths and there is much more to see after Uncle Sam arrives, including some advanced zombies!

It is possible to do all objectives in one play through without too much frustration and some good time management, which is not something that you could really say about DR1. The return of the bat shit crazy psycho is stronger than ever and there are plenty to take on in DR2. Nut Jobs are generally humorous with some great cut scenes before and after the scrapping part. Each one can be taken down with a method or a good powerful combo weapon but most will require at least a second attempt.

Story mode bosses on the other hand are more of a pain in the ass and range from the reasonably difficult to the ‘throw your controller at the TV’ frustratingly difficulty. The last two battles in particular are not enjoyable and require allot of patience, they are the most frustrating boss fights in this game, I would like to tell you more about them but I don’t want to give away any spoilers so let’s just say they suck wrinkly boobs!! Before any boss encounter it is a good idea to stock up on some high level foods and smoothies, these head bangers may be dip shit crazy but they are usually tough enough to beat, so keep that in mind and save your game before hand!!

The survivor AI is way better than before and they are much easier to keep alive. Survivors can even be really helpful against zombies if you give them a weapon. They can watch your back while you gamble away your money or while you’re talking to other new members, just don’t bring them into boss fights, chances are they will die or just get in your way. Some of them are super sexy even if they are made of pixels, makes you wish that Chuck had an extra ‘Shag’ button!

Try not to dish out too much friendly fire while trying to save them from a pack of zombies or they will defect and perhaps turn on you, which is very annoying but over all they are a massive improvement over the retards in the first game! Something that did piss me off though was the conversations with survivors, it is all done through subtitles and it feels lazy. I thought that shit was left behind in the 90’s or reserved for Wii games, WTF Capcom?? Arg!

What of the meat headed, bags of shit, blood covered brainless walking dead heads I hear you ask… well they are just fine, thanks for asking. The variety of zombie is very good, from cops to strippers all look terrifyingly great as they moan and meander about, get too close and you are easily lunged upon and have to escape quickly before you become lunch. Some advanced zombies appear later on in the story and they are faster and tougher to kill, they are a real pain in the ass. But all zombies are basically annoying obstacles to get in your way and soon lose any ‘scary’ element that the living dead might usually have and are more of a pathetic comic relief than a terrifying adversary.

The shops and general level design is well constructed and the bright colours of Fortune City make it all very addictive on the eyes, although it must be said that it’s not all that ‘Vegas’ like, it could be any casino/entertainment based environment with a shopping mall built around it. Lots of fake branding and real life brands are scattered around the place, (mmm - Playboy) some rather humorous and are worth stopping for a quick look or just to graffiti them with a spray can, (hint) try the zombrex posters in particular! The casinos are a great place to find many mini games to earn cash or you could just wreck the joint and take the money that way. Try some bucking bronco, poker, running ball or just put on lots of different clothes, there is loads to investigate and mess around with. You will be exploring long after the actual story is finished.

Most of the game mechanics are the same as DR1, same level up system, same inventory setup but the actual responsiveness of the controls makes Chuck far less trouble than Frankie was to move about the place. Also the aiming setup has changed and works a bit better than previously. You also level by gaining ‘PP’ points just as before. This unlocks new inventory slots, health slots, fighting moves and sometimes weapon combo cards. Points are gained from just about everything with some greater bonuses for killing creatively and saving people, pretty much the same setup as before. Probably the most welcome change is the addition of several save slots, meaning you can fall back on saves when things go tits up or you just want to mess about without affecting your main game progression.

There is now also the co-op element which is nice but it is a missed opportunity to have done something really great. The guest player is also Chuck Green, which is a bit lame, and the guest can earn money and pp points but his game progress isn’t valid, basically just a hired hand. That said it is good fun just to join up and see who can do the most ridiculous atrocities against the dead head zombies and it is a good laugh.
That is not the only multi player aspect thankfully… There is a competitive mode where you and three other players get to slug it out on the show ‘Terror Is Reality’ which involves a series of clever mini games, most involving new and interesting ways of turning zombies into puree. Basically it’s a gladiator arena filled with zombies, genius eh! This is great fun and the mini games tend to vary quite well from match to match but in time they will all become too familiar and boring, unless more are added in the future. There is some DLC coming for DR2 which will involve better Co-op play allowing Chuck and Frank West (from DR1) to team up for some zombie splatting and it is possible that other DLC announcements will follow. If so then this makes owning Dead Rising 2 even more attractive.

This quirky humoured franchise is less about horror and more about tongue n cheek narrative smothered in critical analysis of American culture, almost to the point of blatantly taking the piss… But it has zombies, so that’s ok then! Love em or hate em, zombies are here to stay and are ingrained into our pop culture, especially games! This is an obsession that many can’t get enough of while others can’t stand it, personally I love the smell of a zombie BBQ in the morning and as a result I thoroughly enjoyed Dead Rising 2, flaws and all. It’s fair to say that if you didn’t like the original Dead Rising then this is not going to be your cup of blood and eyeballs. But if you are like me and love to chop off some zombie balls, impale some dead chicks and drink lots of booze in the process then this is the game for you. A good old meat beater!!

Looks good, enjoyable story line, good hack and slash stress relief - Buy it, Love it!!

F1 2010

F1 2010
Codemasters

XBox360
PS3
PC Download







Ok petrol heads so here I am, stuck in the Dungeon of Reaper Towers left alone with the new F1 game, so does it live up to the hype? The short answer is O hell ya it does… and then some! F1 2010 has been brought to us by Codemasters, who also brought us TOCA - Grid and Dirt series, so you would bet your left nut that F1 2010 is going to be good and you would be right... great news for your left nut, eh! So let’s empty the bladders, zip up the fireproof suit, and get your ass comfy in the chair… let’s Go! Go! Go!


Each of the nineteen grand prix circuits have been designed perfectly even the Korean Grand Prix is here complete with grand stands. When you come out of your garage and onto the pit lane, you get a real sense of apprehension as you hear the cars going down the track beside you. With three different career paths to choose from ranging from three, five and seven seasons in length. The career you select will determine the different experiences you are offered. Pick a seven season career and you start off in a Lotus, Virgin Racing, or Hispania Racing where you get an opportunity to work your way up the grid. Then there is a three season career where you’re offered to drive with BMW, Williams, Force India or Turo Rosso and the like. But to access the top dogs you have to prove your worthiness of getting a seat in Ferrari, McLaren, Mercedes, Renault or Red Bull. Alternatively you can jump straight in to the quick race, custom race or time trials, plus there’s the multiplayer mode, plenty of options for the hardcore to the casual race head alike. That’s the real beauty of this game! Just by adjusting a few options it goes from a easy ride for the casual gamer who just wants to blast around a track into a full on simulator for the hardcore enthusiast. Mostly though, this will appeal to the formula one nut’s with all the set up options and fine tweaking that can be done to get that tenth of a second you need for pole position.

The racing itself in the single player is very close to reality and mimics what you see on TV with only a couple of seconds between cars. The cars themselves have a real sense of weight with massive turn in and exiting speeds which just keep pushing you to find that sweet spot. Choose the wrong set up for a track or go too soon on the accelerator and you will be doing donuts all day. Don’t worry if you’re not into locking wheels and burning out back tyres, you can turn on the ABS and traction control in the options setting which does make the cars much easier to drive but doesn’t remove any of the high speed enjoyment.


The race weekends can be customised to your liking with either short or long weekends. This will determine how many practice and qualifying session there are. During the weekend you get challenges, one of which is – beat your teammate. Completing these challenges unlocks new R&D parts that can be used for upgrades and you can work your way into the number one spot on the team… race heads know how important that is! Completing objectives and scoring points also brings you to the attention of teams higher up the grid who will all want you to drive for them… if you’re good enough!

The flag and penalty system tends to lean on the heavy side, a slight tap that in real life would potentially end up in a tangled mess of metal and bone but in the game it could result in a ten second time penalty instead, a bit unrealistic to say the least. At no stage in the game can you drive through cars, except in the pit stop… coming into the pits other cars just ghost drive right through you and into their pitbox, this breaks the illusion of realism successfully and it sucks. Added to this that your lollipop man won’t release you until they’re gone and you have one huge WTF!!! When tight on time or points, this is really, really annoying! That aside the pitstops are as you see on the TV in fact the only thing that’s missing is Ted Kravitz giving a running commentary.


During the various single player modes you have to deal with the press. Slag off the team or act like an obnoxious dick and it goes down like a fart in a space suit. Answer it like a champion and the team will love you! Yay! Your agent will be sitting in the motor home keeping an eye over the whole picture and don’t worry she will let you know how you’re progressing and what the team thinks of you!


Familiar tracks such as ‘Circuit de Catalunya’ (Spain), ‘Silverstone Racing Circuit’ (England) and ‘Suzuka Circuit’ (Japan) may make an appearance in other games like Forza 3 or Grand Turismo but they do not feel the same as they do in F1 2010. If you think you know what to expect from playing tracks in other games then you’re in for a fright. Everything here is different, the bumps, cambers, curb height and general handling around these tracks are greatly different and far more realistic. The best way to approach a circuit that you think you know is to forget everything - cornering speeds, grip levels, everything! Because they are all different here, they are faster, stickier, and bumpier so be prepared for a very real experience.

Multiplayer consists of four different game modes ‘Pole Position’ which is a twenty minute qualifying session where the winner is the player with the fastest time. ‘Sprint’, this is a single three lap race with random cars and grid slots. An ‘Endurance race’ consisting of a twenty percent race length track with dynamic weather, random grid slot and one pit stop, and lastly the ‘Online Grand Prix’ complete with a fifteen minute qualifying session and a seven lap race with dynamic weather and a pit stop. A mode to suit all moods and an enjoyable experience when shared with other serious racers.

The graphics on this game are very good with the detail that has gone into each car short of amazing. It is evident that the development team really benefited from having technical assistance from a current F1 driver and it seems the information he was able to provide has really come though adding to all aspects of this game. The “dynamic” weather system is one of the best weather systems in any racing game to date. Coming out of the La Source hairpin and up Eau Rouge with the rain pissing down is truly breath taking, you cannot see where you are going because there is water streaming off your screen and the car in front has disappeared into a cloud of mist, and you know there is a corner coming, but where? Just like the real thing! The audio is realistic, perhaps a bit too real… take my advice on this - go into the settings and turn the engine noise down! Your ears will thank you for it! Although each car has its own sound, after a while it just bores into your head and this being the dominant sound for most of the game, it just might drive you mad!

Granted the customization option or car selection do not have the same easy appeal as Forza or Gran Turismo but then again you wouldn't by Fifa and bitch about not being able to play as the NY Jets would you? Comparing this game to any other would be like comparing Doom to Modern Warfare – yes, they are both FPS games but they don’t share the same level of involvement. That said, Codemasters have omitted a few things that would have been nice to see and many race heads would perhaps expect in a formula one race - no formation lap before you start the race, no nutter running on the track with his ballsack flying in the wind and no safety car! I suppose they have to keep something in the bag for upcoming patches / F1 2011.There are also many bugs with the most serious being a corruption to save files which the developer is aware of and is addressing. There are also other small issues scattered throughout the game but future patches are promised and the problems should be corrected in time.

F1 2011 is not perfect and is really just for the F1/Petrol head fans. Casual race fans may find it fun initially but could soon be put off by the range and complexity of technical options. That said it is a high quality racer for the eyes and for the thumbs, personally I love it! True, I am a confessed petrol head and love nothing better than a hi octane experience, throw in a few pedestrians or even zombies and it would be nirvana… but as it stands the only thing better than watching the Grand Prix on TV is being in it and this is the closest many of us will ever get. Pound for pound this is the best racing game out there.

Buy it, love it, smell the rubber!!!

SpiderMan: Shattered Dimensions

SpiderMan:
Shattered Dimensions
Marvel/Activision/Beenox

Xbox 360
PS3
PC
Wii
PSP

Ok web slingers here we go with the latest instalment from the folks at Marvel and Activision/Beenox. That’s right, one of comics most exploited characters is back on our screens in this little dimension hopping adventure. So let’s put on the tight latex suit and standard face coverings so we can swing right into it... No, not the Gimp suit! The Spidy suit, all four of em!


Spidy has made a balls of things by mistakenly creating four dimensions, this accident sets off your quadrupole adventure of webbed mayhem. The objective of the game is to search through the four new dimensions and find pieces of a mystic tablet to save reality before it all goes pop, right so no pressure then Spidy! Cross dressing has never been so heroic, you will get to be the Classic Neighborhood Spidy that we all know and love/hate so well, the 'Noir' Spidy of a by gone age who is a bit of a bad ass. There is Ultimate Spidy in his cool black S&M looking spandex and the least popular, Spidy 2099 who is a arrogant cock! All have their own dimension and surroundings to fit their persona's and all in all its an interesting concept. During these various themed levels you will face a heap of spider-mans favorite bosses along the way, which is cool. Throw in the obligatory hidden spiders and collectibles scattered about, and you more or less have a typical spider-man game but be warned, this is not the Spidy game you are used to playing not by a long webbed shot. That’s right, feel the Spidy senses tingling, anyone hoping for a nice big city that's free to run around in is going to be really, really, disappointed! It’s A to B stuff, the sandbox format is gone in the bin. Booooo!! But that doesn't mean its a crap game... or does it?


Game play is fast, you’re thrown into the action straight away, from the moment you start the level you are corralled down a linear path, there is nowhere to go but forward. You meet and chase Spidy's first Nemesis 'Kraven the Hunter' through out the level, eventually ending up in a jungle based thunder dome arena. This begins the first boss battle of the game. After wearing down Kraven's health something new and interesting happens, you go into a first person view for a punch up during the last moment of the final fight. You move the left and right analogue sticks for punching and dodging, a bit like EA's boxing games of late. This was a really nice surprise that is very well executed and is a pretty fresh feature to this type of game and probably one of the games better qualities. That said, all boss battles follow this format, they are rinse and repeat affairs - find the weak spot, hit it, hide, hit it again etc... Next!!


The general formula is also the same all the way through each level, beat up the weak bad guys, beat up the strong bad guys, beat up the stronger bad guys, fight the boss, rescue the civilians, then beat up all the bad guys again, then beat the boss... Again! Arg!
Initially this is fun for each level but eventually it looses its excitement and becomes a routine affair.
The controls in general are straight forward enough, but the overloading on some buttons can cause a bit of finger frustration. The targeting system isn't great and causes issues when trying to quick zip to surfaces but you end up swinging into the enemies target area instead, its just poorly done. What was wrong with the old system Spidy... WHAT!!??

The level design is boring and lazy, the designers need to hung upside down in shame and covered in web-goo I recon, how could they come up with this when they had four strong individual characters and four different versions of New York to play with, all with four different time periods to pour over it all? Tut, tut! Not to mention some past Spidy games as inspiration that were of a high quality. It's a missed opportunity to improve on previous games rather than to reboot it poorly but I guess that was a gamble they were willing to risk... unfortunately!

Visually its not bad, graphics are not ground breaking by any stretch of the imagination but having the four different dimensions with their own “unique style” was a nice touch and a solid idea. However its all a bit overwhelming on the orbs, mixing bright colours in one dimension with cell shading for another then to the dark and dirty style of the next, it’s a bit of a messed up mind fuck. Although it is trying to give contrast between levels it just makes it visually inconsistent and confusing. I felt that it falls short of what the developers were trying to achieve.

The audio just meanders along like some depressed worker looking forward to a day in the mines, it does what it does just enough to get by. Ok, so Spider man himself has been voiced by 4 different actors giving Spidy a “unique” quality each time and our favourite web head has also been armed with all the smart answers you would come to expect but after a while it just blends into monotony and repetition. The only really cool thing is having Stan “The Man” Lee as narrator but even then you’re looking for the skip button.


This game is a fun filler at best, after you complete the game it will sit on the shelf never to be touched again. That’s of course if you could be arsed to even finish it. Personally I like to finish every game I start, but even this is going to push me to my limits, and trust me I have played some doozers in my time... 'Spider-man Shattered dimensions' is a level based platformer that unfortunately offers very little new to the genre. The early novelties soon run out of steam and you just start ploughing through it, perhaps real Spidy heads will enjoy it just because of its brand but not for its merits as a game. I can tell you this, if I had spent my hard earned cash on it, I‘d be very pissed off.


Rent it, play it, forget it.

Dantes Inferno - The Review.

Dantes Inferno EA, Visceral Games, Xbox 360, PS3, PC










There has been a bolloc load of hype around this hack n slasher prior to release and a bit of a hate campaign after, so with all the marketing and media surrounding this title it is fair to say that the essential truth about Dante’s inferno has been lost in the mix and that is – Does it suck like a 20 stone midget on a milkshake or is it the angelic blood fest we want it to be?
After playing the demo I was not impressed and felt very let down as I really wanted to like this game. The idea of taking the works of Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy from the 14th century and bringing it into the twenty first century as the basis for a game - to me is absolute genius! Keep in mind that EA and Visceral games are not trying to rewrite this classic poem, it is only the premise for a great romp through Hell itself and a pretty smart marketing angle too. Hopefully other publishers will adopt this type of concept and tie it into their games as some have in the past (Bioshock - influenced by Atlas Shrugged from author Ayn Rand), it can potentially add a great deal of weight and depth if done well.
By now we all know the premise of Dante’s Inferno as far as the game is concerned… Dante is one serious bad ass doing God’s work by butchering Muslims during the Crusades. Turns out that was a crock of shit and all he has been really doing is racking up hell points for himself, Duh! Making a long story short Dante finds out that his hot blond bird ‘Beatrice’ has been killed and is promised to Hell because of his sins. Dante of course follows her into Hell with some divine help from a holy ghost by the name of ‘Virgil’. At this point you have to start a journey through the nine circles of the underworld and the fun begins!



So let’s get on the highway to hell and see just how hot this game is or is not. First off, the game looks great. Visuals are rich and colourful giving a good fell of being in various areas of Hell. Attention to detail is very strong and there always seems to be something going on in the background. Levels like ‘Gluttony’ are suitably gooey, snotty and gross while the likes of ‘Lust’ are suitably raunchy in a sick way… it’s all sexy dangly bits everywhere, more old age pensioner than playboy mansion though. Each of the areas through hell are suitably customised and well designed in relation to their theme while the moaning and groaning of lost souls echoes through the background screams. The atmosphere is well executed in sight and sound and at times is almost a bit pee you’re your pants freaky. Animations and models are also of a high standard, the whole 60fps trick that Visceral Games have used seems to have worked well. There is a reasonable variety of enemies to bash and the list grows as you go through each circle of Hell but quite often you will face the same demon drones, with the special level types popping in for a kicking every now and then. Combat is pretty basic… You have Deaths scythe and the holy crucifix to combat enemies, the scythe extracts evil points in the form of souls and the cross good points. These souls unlock skills which come in the form of extra health, stronger attacks, and combo moves. You will also meet dammed famous figures of history and myths that require your judgement, condemn or absolve, the choice is yours, but these decisions will influence your dark or light power points. Collectibles come in the form of Relics and Judas coins, these also add to your pool of souls while the relics can be equipped and upgraded giving an array of benefits. All of this will help you get access to evil abilities or good ones, you can spread them out over both disciplines, but it really has little impact on the overall game as to which side you invest in. Executing new moves is as easy as pulling the legs of a beellez-bug and requires little in the way of complex brain to finger function. You can mix it up by trying out the various options of combos but you really don’t need to, basic chopping or shooting crucifixes will do the trick with the odd need to shield or dodge. You could say this is too basic and simple or you could look at it that it doest get in the way of fluid progression. Either way slicing off demon heads or hacking at a bunch of evil babies is still a fun experience. This can become a bit repetitive but it never really gets boring and if you do decide to try and learn the combos then it will keep it even fresher. In Hell size matters, bosses are massive and impressive to look at but lack little in the way of a punch for the most part. Beating the hell spawn upper elite is pretty easy and usually involves a basic ‘rinse and repeat’ method, but again it is enjoyable rather that annoying. You will even have some objectives that involve controlling giant demons like a vehicle and these, although a bit token, are enjoyable and change the pace giving a break from the button bashing. Eventually you will confront the devil himself, who is actually quite a cool dude despite his need to show off the twig and giggleberries on a regular basis, well it is hot down there I guess. Then there’s the sexy Beatrice who is almost always naked, being fondled by bad men and giving Dante a constant guilt trip… ungrateful cow! Minos will try and crush ya, Cleopatra will try and screw ya, Mark Anthony will try and poke ya, Gluttons will try and eat ya, and the rest will just try and kill ya in colourful ways. It’s fair to say that Dante is having a pretty shit day! The holy freak Virgil will guide you on your way through all this giving his down beat advice and generally being a misery. Thanks for nothing ya ectoplasmic freak in a dress!

Overall it’s fair to say that Dante’s Inferno is nice on the eyes and enjoyable to play while simple to get through even on the top difficulty setting but what makes this stand out from the crowd just that little bit is its story and theme. The game is a bit short and easy to rip through and holds little in the way of a challenge but it does this wrapped up in beautiful visuals and fluid fun button bashing that has a story compelling enough for you to want to know what comes next. The in-between cut scenes are top quality and really enrich the atmosphere of it all. That said it feels like there could have been more added to the game, especially in terms of game length and enemy variety but perhaps I’m just being greedy… It does have a flavour that many of the early PS2 ‘hack n’ slash’ games did and feels quite nostalgic, at least to old fogies like me. And yes, this is basically God of War but that’s not such a bad thing especially for PC and Xbox owners.

If you like button bashers, demons, game nudity, buckets of bloody gore, biblical overtones and hero saves the day kinda stuff then you will thoroughly enjoy this romp through Hell, it’s just good old fun with lots of boobies, some bigger than a truck… honest! If you’re looking for innovate, high brow style game play, then leave Dante in Hell. What you really want to know is should you Buy, Rent, or Pass? Well there is some DLC coming for this soon so that will add multiplayer, that could influence your decision but if ya couldn't give a demon’s dick about such things then renting is probably a good idea. Chances are you will play through this once, maybe twice but then it’s gonna become a dust collector or trade in for most people. I really enjoyed Dante’s Inferno so if that’s a sin then send me to Hell, I have to say I am looking forward to the sequels which I imagine will be ‘Dante’s Purgatory’ then ‘Dante’s Paradise’, this would complete the Divine Comedy (Look it up you lazy people) but of course with a Visceral Games twist added. That said one man’s Heaven is another man’s Hell… I really enjoyed this but it’s really a matter of taste, if ya don’t like it spit it out but it’s worth chewing!

Dante's Inferno Demo Impressions - Hot or Not?

Dante's Inferno - Demo Impressions.
Xbox 360
PS3
PC

EA, Visceral Games.









Well, the Dante's Inferno free demo was released on the PS3 and Xbox 360 just before Christmas and is now available to all. If you haven't got your dirty lil hands on it yet I suggest you do and see what you make of it for yourself. Our opinion's on the demo here at Reaper Towers are quite split... Mr Exciting Alien hated it, he thought the 2D cut scenes were nothing short of amateur and the game play is repetitive and boring old hack n' slash button bashing that gave no satisfaction... ooo harsh!! But he has a point. Although I don't think Dante's Inferno is quite that bad, I was very disappointed, I really thought this ticked all the boxes for a top end experience and given all the great Dev Diary's we have seen and shared over the past months I was expecting more... As we tear the soul from this demo do keep in mind that it is just a demo and the kind of game a player will love or hate depending on a gamers taste of game type, so do the best review possible before you decide... play it for yourself! In the meantime here's my two cents...

The environments are rich and well executed with visuals in general very pleasing. The characters and animations are also very good with a nice variety of hell spawn enemies to chop up. Unfortunately, the camera can be a pain in the ass and swings wildly at times, which is frustrating during battles. Controls are over complicated (but this can be said for most hack and slash games) which means you rely on the basic attacks for the most part and accidentally end up doing combos. Cut scene timed button bashing is here in mass, the game is overdosed with this feature and is just overdone... it is OK here and there but when its all the time it becomes repetitive and annoying. Combat is fast paced but again becomes a button masher with little in the sense of satisfying attacks, it all just feels weightless.
You have a sort of path choice to make which is cool, you can save your enemies souls as you dismember their bodies through the power of good in the form of a divine crucifix which gives you good brownie points or chop em up with Deaths scythe and this will give you nasty points, basically its like force power but without bath robes and beards. As you fill up on good and evil souls you are allowed to level up abilities, personally I thought this menu setup looked and functioned awkwardly and could potentially become annoying at later stages, but it does open up some useful powers and there is a good sense that Dante is getting more powerful with each advancement.
There seems to be a good atmosphere and story to the game which may be its strongest feature, that said it is far from perfect... A point in case is where you have a chat with 'Death' himself during battle and he comes across as a moany little bitch when ya start kicking his ass... it just felt... immature or silly. On the up side there is a part of the demo where you control a giant demon allowing you to bite off enemy heads and relive your Godzilla fetish for a few moment, mmm yummy! The overall experience is middle of the road with a few high points, it is not a bad game but it is no God Of War either, unfortunately! As it stands, if you love hack n' slash games then play it through and trade it in when it gets boring, if you are not a big fan of this type of game I don't think there is much here to change your opinion...

I think that Dante's Inferno has the potential to be a Good game... not a Great one as originally hoped. If EA and Visceral Games start spending as much time and effort cleaning up the games shortcomings as they have spent on their hype machine then we could have a real kick ass experience here... but at the moment it is a title destined to purgatory I fear... I know its only a demo but the omens are not good, sort it out dev dudes, make Hell a nice place to be!!!

FIFA 10 Review

Fifa 10

EA Sports

Xbox 360
PS3







Well, it's that time of the year folks when EA, THQ (amongst others) come along and hypnotize to monopolise you're hard earned euros with a glorified update of the previous years title release. Now, we've all grown weary of the bells and whistles thrown about the place and empty promises to 'change the way you play games forever' but no matter, we still splash the cash! So with about as much surprise as the moment your girlfriend waves an Xbox controller about as if it's a Wii wand comes along the mighty EA with the equally mighty Fifa 10. They say it's ground breaking so let's take a look under the hood.....

Firstly let's get the whole FIFA V PES out of the way, simply put this is better, on many levels. A blinding loyalty to PES has always been the modus operande here at Reaper Towers as long back as I can remember, but something strange happened a couple of years ago. Konami fell asleep in their Toyotas and along came EA who like 'em or lump 'em pushed the football game in the absolute right direction. Capitalizing on the 'Sim' quality brought to the genre with PES, EA got it just right with fluid controls, full and licensed rosters, brilliant manager modes and create-a-player that was second to none. We were (like Lindsey Lohan) swayed, and you were too!

Now 900 billion trillion copies* later we have just laid Fifa 09 to rest and wrapped our goalie gloves around Fifa 10 which is, if you pardon the expression, a perfect ten. So, what's new? Lot's actually...

Much has been written about the brand new 360 control, and surprisingly it is as good as they say it is. Although only slightly different than previous eight way player movement it's enough to completely change the entire feel of the game allowing measurably superior first touches and runs with the ball. For the first time you actually feel like you're playing football as opposed to playing a game, creating a real immersion that you never knew was missing. This feeds in to the new player dynamics where weight and speed are represented brilliantly and effectively. You know intuitively when a player can take a player on the ball, that said however, as much as I like to feel Ashley Cole's player dynamics I'd rather feel his wife....

Moving on you'll notice on the pitch everything just works better, from attacks at goal to passing dynamics to defensive abilities a little tweaking has helped a lot. In previous incarnations a defender found himself in the way of a shot on goal almost by mistake, where as now it's brilliantly animated when a shot is blocked. This adds an immediacy that was lacking and a sense of urgency when trying to get the ball in the back of the net...

Free kicks have also had an overhaul from the ground up. At the practice mode screen you can access create a set-piece, which might be construed as 'fiddly' but with a little time and patience you will have some seriously effective goal scoring chances that you can take online. I know the purists out there would probably like it 'harder' to score like this but by freeing up the chances of a screaming goal EA have put the responsibility on the defensive play to try keep it clean around the box, a change most welcome.

Outside of the pitch some new developments have also taken place. Players can now share their faces on-line via the My Virtual Pro Game Face option, create your player and splash your mug on it via the EA website (Mac users can't do this at the moment... Typical). Probably a bit pointless for girl gamers and people with fat faces but a fun tool none-the-less. You can bring said player through all sorts of skill curves and build up his ability over all modes including the practice arena, this can be great fun and especially handy for setting up your own team on-line with your mates. Live Season, allowing you to play in real life fixtures, returns in the form of 2.0, which 'Goddammit EA!! costs MONEY. This whole idea of paid for content really gets my grits. Was my initial money not good enough? It's like paying for a seat in McDonald's... Won't be buying that.

Manager Mode is, as ever, totally immersive and excellently executed. Full control is on offer here for those who fancy themselves as 'De Gaffer' from player health and tactics to ticket prices and player transfers. Word to the wise though, these players want a lot of money if they're gonna move to your club, so just give it to them... I hate Ronaldo. Also remember to turn off auto save to avoid those crucial losses and moments of madness where you throw your controller through your shiny HD tele...

The Menu system has been modestly improved and stream lined a bit better than last year and the load times have improved also. The gut's of the game are all still there, including the commentating of Andy Gray and Martin Tyler which really add to the atmosphere of a 'Big Game Match' although they're especially hard on poor old Van Persie, constantly reminding you that he's had a bad season. Wonder what he did to EA? But it's exactly this precise tie-in that makes you appreciate the importance of licensing to this title, reminding us not to take for granted everything reflecting real life, from kits to stadiums.

On-line play is fantastic and seeded to your skill level and in terms of racking up the points, highly, highly addictive. It's an integral part of the appeal of Fifa and EA seem to understand this, in turn building on it year in year out. And at time of review a notable drop in connection losses with your opponent, a problem that dogged '09 in my opinion.

Xbox achievements got a slight overhaul also, whereas you might expect 'header' 'free kick' and 'distance goals' to make a return, they don't. It seems to be mostly centred around Manager Mode and Virtual Pro which forces you to really delve in to the one player option and two player lounge modes. Fine by me, changes things a little and keeps it fresh. For those with a PS3, bad news, the graphics and fluidity are superior on the Xbox and on-line is better also.

The only real problem I can find with Fifa 10 is the inclusion of the Dutch side. I don't like them, wooden shoes and big women.

In closing, a great game indeed. It's not perfect and I'm sure as you play through you'll find little glitches but so far, so very good. EA have listened and responded satisfactorily as far as I'm concerned. From the minute you load this puppy up it's obvious that you're dealing with much more than a game. It's a community, a world within a world and a really great social game. From the frustration to the almost orgasmic satisfaction of scoring a winner in the last minute this title runs the gamut of emotion, exalting the highs and lows of the real life beautiful game and packaging it in a shiny little disc for your Xbox pleasure. How do EA improve on this? I'm not sure they can.

Blind Side G's Verdict: Get it!

P.S Avoid Exciting Alien if you want to win a match...

Batman Arkham Asylum - Does my Bum look big in this cape?

Batman Arkham Asylum

Xbox360
PS3
PC

Welcome to Gotham, home to the strangest bunch of psychos in America where the costume business is recession proof. It’s home to one of the most popular caped crusaders of our time, The Batman. This time round he is taking a trip to the nut house and thankfully he left the bat brat Robin at home. For a character that was born in the late 1930’s Bat's is looking pretty good for his age. Being pimped and exploited in all popular mediums the franchise has touched every youngster’s life at one stage or another, becoming a household name.

A man who wears his nickers over his tights while being disguised as a rodent may sound crazy but it has thrilled the fantasy universe right up to present day. We will try to forget the terrible times of poor Batman games and more than a handful of really cringe worthy movies because Batman has come into his golden age… again. Whether you are on the side of Tim Burton’s dark vision or prefer the grounded Chris Nolan adaptations it is fair to say that the character has moved into a more adult arena. Thankfully and at last, this can now also be said of the Dark Knight’s most recent gaming appearance form Eidos and Rocksteady: Batman Arkham Asylum. So, first off, is the hype deserved? Absolutely is the short answer! But here’s the long version…

Visually the game is stunning regardless of the platform, the unreal engine does have a strong ‘Gears of War’ look about it, especially in terms of lighting and atmospheric effects but this is no bad thing. Every area of the map is littered with minute detail wrapped up in well structured, nicely varied and brilliantly convincing environments that really set the tone for the adventure. Characters ooze personality while moving to some of the most fluid and impressive animation to date. The game mechanic works great with few problems, and the control system, although not perfect does a good job of allowing you to access the numerous options needed to keep Bats kicking criminal ass. Let’s just say that the whole production is quality! The love and dedication that went into the science of the game is evident from the get go, sound, visuals, and level design are one of the best to date in my opinion so there is nothing major to criticize in this department.

Where the game really comes alive is with its narrative and personality. Joker is acting up again and has tricked Batman into bringing him to Arkham where he can get down and dirty with his bad plan to smash Gotham and the Bat… the usual stuff really but the array of characters and lashings of dark humour make the story very real. Anyone familiar with graphic novels and movies will see unnecessary but delightful subtle nods and winks to the various stories that are part of the Bats past, making it all the richer for a fan. Combat is satisfying with simple but timed controls and there is a real weight behind the thumps and kicks dished out. Stealth is often the best approach, this has the familiarity of ‘Splinter Cell’ or Thief’ and leads to some very gratifying situations. Sometimes a frontal assault may be unavoidable, so time to access the batbelt and open a good old fashioned can of whoop-ass! Bosses are encountered at various points and generally require a method or strategy in order to defeat them, this has a wonderfully old school type game feeling and shall remind the mature gamer of the big boss fights in many of the early games from their SNes or arcade days.

There are great gadgets as you might expect and their uses are clever and satisfying to implement. Want to hang an enemy upside down from the rafters or perhaps just blow em up as they check on a fallen comrade, easy peasy! The sense of speed as you zip up the grapple line onto the eaves above your enemies is also great. As you progress weapons and abilities are upgradeable giving you grater scope in combat and making Batman that bit tougher.

As well as playing through the main story there are many hidden gems to find and the Riddiler himself sets puzzles for you to uncover which are fun and beneficial to unlocking abilities, this feature feels like you are playing a second storyline parallel to the main quest. All this is well balanced with scenarios that require stealth, brutal force and investigation in equal measure. You also have the ‘Detective Mode’ at your disposal. This is a type of forensic x-ray vision that allows you to see enemies and important items or clues more clearly and you will find it your most useful ability in the game. As you progress through the story mode you will unlock the excellent mini game aspect of Arkham Asylum, the Challenges. These are separate from the storyline and involve you taking down or defeating rounds of enemies, results are then displayed on world wide leader boards so you can compare stats with friends or just in general.

Criticisms are few and it is a rare thing to say, but Batman Arkham Asylum is a near flawless game. The camera can be annoying now and then when obstructed by a wall or structure during combat, but this is rare and minor compared to other similar games. Targeting a ledge for the grapple can also be slightly annoying when in a rush to escape and sometimes the enemy AI can be a bit slow but is overall very sharp. That’s it… yep, really! Its then comes down to whether you like Batman the character or just this kind of game in general, but the title itself does everything it tries to do, it kicks ass!!

For every player there is a point in a game that you just know it is a title to get your teeth into and bond with, for me it was when I was first introduced to the Arkham Assylum graveyard area, its gothic beauty was disturbingly and amazingly stunning. Followed closely by the areas where you must conquer your fears in the face of Scarecrow… the bat shivers went down my spine! I love this game, it ticks all the boxes I need and as a reviewer all I can really give is some facts and an opinion. It’s Bat-tastick and a game not to be missed, the hype got it right for a change so get on those bum hugging tights and strap on those bat boots, its time to kick some Jokers ass! Time to enter the nut house… Good Luck!

Reapers Verdict: Buy it now, don't wait for it on the second hand market! DLC on the horizon so renters will loose out...

Assassins Creed - Show us your Dagger Luv!

Assassins Creed

Xbox 360
PS3
PC



If you have ever wondered where the idea of dying as a martyr and then getting the seventy something virgins came from then wonder no more, this is where it all started. Look up the word Assassin and you will find a deep an interesting history that now you can experience for yourself thanks to Ubisoft. You are now the hunter, and having a load of chicks around to cook, clean and give foot rubs is quite the bonus.

The year is 1191, actually… it’s not, its just a few years from now… actually it’s both. Confused? Good, then let me explain. You are Desmond Miles, and you’re also Altair Ibn La-Ahad… more confusion eh? Ok, let’s begin again. Desmond Miles is a modern day assassin turned barman and he is our main character in the not too distant future. A nutty professor and his hot sidekick working for a secret bunch of secret people have kidnapped poor Desmond and all because his genetic code contains the memory of his ancestors. After he is hooked up like a lab rat to some fancy gadgetry he can access these memories, and here comes the best bit… you play the memories of old as his ancestor Altair… simple really. Ok, so it all seems a bit mad, but it works and it works good!

For most of the game you are the assassin Altair and your enemy is everyone you piss off, especially the westerners. The setting is in the crusades of the holy land around the twelfth century when King Henry went to war with the Arab world. This means for us lots of French and English solders to hunt and kill in attempt to boot the crazy Eurotrash out of your land… an age old story really.
When you first begin the game it is fair to say that it is a dazzling sight and the dedication that went into making this title is apparent straight away. It looks amazing and you will be totally absorbed into this historic setting. The cities are immense and the people walking the streets are very convincing, beggars, holy men, and mentalists that smack you on sight, it’s like a weekend in Galway. But the real heart of the game is in your character Altair, despite his dodgy American accent, he’s one cool customer, a real angel of death. The main story line has you hunting various cities form Damascus to Jerusalem in search of specific targets, this hunt is your redemption for making a mess of a serious mission involving the Ark of the Covenant. You go from hero to zero in the opening part of the game and there after it’s all up hill. As you do progress you are rewarded with new weapons, fighting skills, acrobatic abilities and increased health and this serves as one of the ambitions to complete missions. There are also side missions like saving civilians from corrupt solders, pick pocketing secret information and finding look out posts giving you a good view of the city along with making you mission objectives that bit clearer. You can also collect flags that are scattered throughout the game or hunt down every Crusader Knight in the land.

There is great open-endless in what approach you take to a task, when trying to get through a guarded doorway for example, there is the stealth approach where you can sometimes climb around or over the obstacle and take out any roof guards quietly with the blade hidden up you sleeve, or you can try to blend with some holy men and walk right past the guards. Then of course you can just hack your way through, and although this can be enjoyable it can also be dangerous and could end in you having to flee for your life trying to shake off the chasing swordsmen, this too is of great enjoyment.

The actual fighting method is good and you have several options at your disposal, the sword being one of the best for straight out scraps. During a battle with solders timing is the key to success and with the help of some well earned fighting skills you will be able to take on large groups of enemies with little trouble, all of which is bloody and enjoyable to witness in the form of mini cut scenes that flow with your direction. For the most part you will be galloping around on your horse or running on rooftops and hanging from ledges that would give Lara Croft vertigo. This is allot of fun and the fluid motion and character animations make it a seamless ballet of dangerous stunts and jumps.

Criticisms are few, the odd bug here and there can be easily forgiven, of which there are a good few. The cut scenes, although somewhat interactive can ramble on a bit till you catch yourself snoring, because you are unable to skip them. The areas of the game based in the near future can slow the overall pace, not in a good way, and at times you might find the tasks a bit repetitive, but the good points of the game overshadow all this and the atmosphere alone can carry these negative elements and make them minor problems.
Assassin’s creed has the feel of a Tomb Raider or Indiana Jones type game with more than a touch of a medieval GTA element. That combined with stunning visuals excellent sound and atmospheric music not to mention the realistic and immersing environments that make this an excellent title for all adventure platform lovers.

Take a trip to the holy land and see where it all began… maybe you can even score with one of those hot virgins!!

Reapers Verdict: Class Act! Bit repetitive but well worth the play time... A must for 3rd person gamers. Get it!